I didn’t necessarily decide to be a SAHM while I was pregnant. It sort of became my reality, and I then decided to stick with it until I was ready to leave Odin. I had a job lined up with the company I was working for that would allow me to travel and pay off my current student loans, but obviously once you have a baby the last thing you want is to be away from them for a month at a time so that was no longer a possibility. The career path I previously desired was suddenly not what I wanted any more. My life kind of turned upside down.
Odin is now almost 6 months and life as a SAHM is so different from what I expected, in both good and bad ways. Here are some things I expected and didn’t expect about the experience.
I expected to be relaxed all the time. Let all us mamas laugh together for a moment 🙂 I was a full time student working nearly full time and participating in clubs and a sorority before my mama times. Being home with a baby would be such a nice change of pace 🙂 WRONG. I was very wrong. When you’ve just had a baby, they don’t move much and you can occasionally put them down, but there are still feedings every 2 hours (that’s between the start of one and the start of the next), diaper changes in between, oh yeah, eating? And you’re still healing from birth. Adjusting to not always holding a baby to constantly holding a baby is a huge physical change. Breastfeeding also does a number on your posture, and you don’t sleep much at night. Sound relaxing? It’s not bad by any means, but it is a full time job. As the baby becomes more alert they require entertainment and soothing in addition to feeding and changing.
I didn’t expect to feel lonely. I’m not the most social person but I’m used to being around people a lot. Now the person I’m around non- stop poops on me. My husband works full time which is normal and necessary but I crave to have friends going through the same things I am! I had NO idea. I have family around but its not the same as having friendship of women going through the same season of life as you. QUICK MENTION my husband is the bomb.com and I love him but I NEED GIRLFRIENDS.
No days off. This is kinda obvious but I didn’t think about it until I was in the thick of it. There are no days or nights off from motherhood. It is constant, and it is tiring. My shower is the most personal space I get most days.
I didn’t expect to have separation anxiety. Leave my baby in the nursery at church? Yeah right. Give him to my in- laws while I go to the gym? Psh. Unless you’re my baby daddy or my own mama you ain’t taking my baby. I literally want him back when other people hold him. Can I stuff him back in my tummy where he was only mine??? (Not really)
I didn’t expect that I would still be looking for the next step. I’m a planner through and through. My first year or college I had my medical school options selected, every course planned until I graduated, and had even thought about what I wanted to specialize in. In preparation for graduation, I came up with a whole 5 year plan which included working to pay off my loans and starting to masters before I had kids. Getting pregnant changed my plans, but I figured out a different way to achieve my dreams. Once he was born, everything changed. The thought of being away from him, and him not knowing where I was while at work or school, was unbearable for me. However, I still desired to achieve and learn. Even while I was healing from birth I was trying to figure out a way to do this without having to leave Odin, but decided it wasn’t possible just yet. I have a new plan, but we’ll see how this one works out 😉 Read more about how I decided to be a stay at home mom here.
I didn’t expect how much work it would be. I thought that being a mom was a full time job, like everyone says. But keeping a home while caring for a child is surprisingly hard. The tasks I need to do are endless, and add trying to exercise, cook, and care for a baby increasing in neediness by the day. It’s a lot of work!
I didn’t know how much I’d need my husband. I thought I was needy before! Now that Odin is my company most days, I need Carlos’s attention and affection even more. When you’re home with your kiddo all day and feel unproductive and unworthy, hearing a “thank you”, “I love you” or “I appreciate everything you do for us” is so meaningful. Especially since my boss can’t talk yet to tell me how great I’m doing 😉
I expect it to be so rewarding. When my baby is with someone else and reaches for me my heart explodes! It’s so sweet. If I walk away he cries. His first word is mama! Making him laugh and smiling, soothing his cries, and nourishing him are my forms of payment. Knowing he wants to be with me always is how I know I’m doing things right and I’m a good mama. Some days I think about what parents really do and it just amazes me. We teach them to talk, play, share, what to eat, how to act, what to think about themselves and others. And our parents before us did this for us. What an incredible impact!
Motherhood is scary and exciting, rewarding and draining. There’s no way to prepare for it or to understand what you’re getting into until you’re in it. I’m so thankful to be able to be home with my baby and raise him the way I want to and hope to raise him to be a kind, curious and wonderful human.
Thanks for reading ❤